How to Understand the Difference Between Healthy vs Unhealthy Relationships
Some people say that the relationships we build are the most important things in life, and they're not wrong!
Whether it's the relationship with your friends or your significant other, the relationships you foster can have a big impact on the way we see ourselves and the world around us.
That's why it can be so damaging to be part of an unhealthy relationship.
Romantic relationships are supposed to bring us joy, love and fulfilment, but they can also be a big source of pain and disappointment.
I hear so many clients talk about how they missed those all-important 'red flags' at the start of an unhealthy relationship, but sometimes it's hard to spot these signs when you're in the throws of passion. So, let's talk about how to understand the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships, as well as how to spot the earliest signs that things aren't quite right.
6 Signs of a Healthy Relationship
In a healthy relationship, you should feel happy, valued and supported by your partner. Of course, every relationship has it's ups and downs, and it's common to face challenges, but you should be able to overcome them.
Here are 6 signs that you're in a healthy relationship:
1. You respect each other
Mutual respect for one another is the foundation of any strong relationship. Both of you should pay attention to each other, appreciate your differences and treat eachother with kindness - even when you're having a disagreement.
2. You trust eachother
Trust is another important component of a healthy relationship. You should be able to trust your partner and feel safe in your relationship. Of course, there are things your partner can do that can make you feel jealous or wound your ego and self-esteem a little bit, but you need to think about whether it's been a misunderstanding - sometimes these feelings can be more of a reflection of how you feel rather than the actions of your partner.
3. You communicate effectively with eachother
I can't tell you the number of times where I speak to clients about miscommunication in relationships and, I get it, good communication can be a lot harder than you think, but it's vital to maintain healthy relationships.
You should feel secure enough to communicate your needs and feelings openly and honestly with your partner, especially when it comes to things that make you feel unhappy, insecure or anxious. When there's a lack of communication and emotional intimacy, it can quickly lead to arguments and misunderstandings.
4. You support eachother
One of the best things about being in a relationship is having someone who's always got your back. Your partner should be there for you and support you - even when times are tough.
Whether you're going through family problems or struggling with work, you should be able to rely on your partner's support - but remember, support should be give and take, you should also return the support for your partner when they need you.
5. You feel equal
A good indicator of whether a relationship is healthy or unhealthy is how equal you feel. In a good relationship, you should both be equal and have equal say in how things are done. It's ok for one partner to take the lead in certain situations, but it's not normal for them to maintain power and control over you.
6. You feel happy
One of the most important tests of a healthy relationship is whether you feel happy. We all know the feeling of being happy, right? You wake up in a good mood, feel motivated at work, and don't feel anxious or stressed.
If your relationship is a cause of unhappiness, or you generally feel quite anxious when you think about your partner, it could be a sign that you're in an unhealthy situation.
You deserve a happy, healthy relationship!
6 Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship
Being in an unhealthy relationship can feel like the odds are stacked against you, it can even make you start to question yourself, feel insecure, or isolate yourself from your friends and family.
An unhealthy relationship is not necessarily abusive, it doesn't have to mean domestic violence or emotional abuse, it could just be that you're not getting what you deserve. I'm here to help you recognize the signs of unhealthy relationships, here are some of the signs you should look out for:
1. Your partner tries to control you
Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean that you have to give up your independece or control. If your partner constantly tries to exert control over every decision you make, they may be a controlling person.
Maybe they don't like you going out with your friends, or they don't like it when you dress a certain way. Either way, they're being controlling.
2. They manipulate you
As I said earlier, you should feel like you have an equal say in how the relationship works, which isn't always the case when you're in an unhealthy situation.
Manipulation is a form of control when your partner plays mind games to manipulate you into doing what they want. It may be subtle or more obvious, but your partner should never constantly undermine your wants and needs.
3. They isolate you from your friends and family
Sometimes when you're in a new relationship you can get wrapped up in the fun of it all and forget to respond to a message or two, we all know that feeling! But, if you feel like your partner may be purposefully cutting you off from the important people in your life, it's a common start to an unhealthy relationship.
When you are isolated from those around you, you don't have any second opinion on what's going on in your life, which can keep you stuck in an unhealthy relationship for much longer than you should. We all need those family and friends around to snap us out of a bad situation - they are the ones who don't see things through rose-tinted glasses.
4. Your partner is constantly jealous
A little bit of jealousy isn't an immediate red flag within a relationship, but if your partner takes their jealousy to the extreme it can have big impacts. If they are unable to express why they're jealous or try to keep you away from situations that make them jealous (especially if it's irrational situations, like you going out to see your friends), there's a problem.
5. Your partner is possessive
When you and your partner trust and respect each other, there shouldn't be any room for possessiveness. If you feel like your partner is trying to dictate your thoughts and actions, limit your access to family and friends, or monitoring your whereabouts or online activity, it's an immediate red flag!
6. You feel unhappy
And finally, if you generally feel unhappy when you're with your partner, they probably aren't the one. Maybe you're constantly fighting, feel disconnected, or feel resentment towards your partner, it could also mean that this might not be the right relationship for you.
Navigating Healthy Relationships and Unhealthy Relationships
The differene between a healthy relationship and an unhealthy relationship is usuallly pretty obvious. You know yourself, and if something in your gut is telling you that things aren't quite right, listen to it!
Every person out there, no matter who you are, deserves to be in a loving relationship where you feel happy, supported and safe. If you don't feel like that, it's time to move on to the next person, there's plenty of 'em out there!
If you're ready to say goodbye to that unhealthy relationship that's not serving you and reinvent yourself, let's have a chat. Together, we can get you the love that you deserve.
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